How I was still a virgin, and that I was too scared to go out with a guy she set me up with. She told me how she'd make sure that I didn't make the cheerleading squad next season, and how she'd make sure my life was a living hell in every way she could." Why would she do that?" Because... because she thinks it'd be funny." She what? What do you mean, funny?"Amy closed her eyes, taking a breath to steady herself."I overheard her the other day. I was right around the corner, but she couldn't see me. I heard her talking with a friend of hers or something. She was saying how it would be hilarious for my first time to be with someone who was huge. She said she couldn't wait to see how I was walking come Monday, with it being my first time, and with me being smaller..." Wow..." I couldn't think of anything more profound to say at that moment. I had known that Gail was a bitch, but... that was just crazy."Yeah. I was so scared, but I knew I had to do it. Finally, I decided to just hit my. All of my senses were instantly on alert as I shifted my gaze in that direction. I saw a poet, hunkered down on the forest floor. I slung my gun over my shoulder and climbed out of my stand. I followed the sound of the poet, surveying each page and phrase as I hiked. As I drew near I found my first sign: a track made by a seventeen triple E boot. Everyone knows that these repulsive beasts have enormous feet, all the better for stomping on the dreams of the creative. Their tiny, pointed heads and bloated, short bodies slouched over those huge feet as they tromped through the forest. At long last I found the poet. He perched protectively over his sweet verses, both he and his stanzas were smeared with mephitic green slime. ‘What happened here, mister?’ I asked as if I didn’t know. ‘It was horrible,’ said he with quivering chin. He had a fire of righteous indignation in his glittering eyes. ‘It was a Mordacious. He swooped in, ripped my stanzas to shreds and then attacked me.’ I.
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